I had my gestational diabetes test on Tuesday. It was exactly two years and four months since I had done the same test for LD's pregnancy. With LD I scored 137 on a scale of 70-140, but since a lot of doctors use a smaller cut-off I insisted on the 3 hour test just to be sure I was ok. I was but my doc did insist on a dietary change. Results this time: a not even registering on the standard range 66. We have shifted our eating habits, especially in the last month of so. We are trying to eat at home nearly every meal, where before we were eating out almost daily if not twice a day. I have no idea if that has any impact on something like gestational diabetes but something is surely different this time. I was anemic with LD and this time I'm not too. I feel healthier and that is huge for me. Last pregnancy I weighed 131 pounds by this point, this pregnancy 124.7. Of course running after a toddler is probably one of the most effective workouts out there. CJ's heart sounded great and I am measuring right on track. He has a regular routine of movements throughout the day that keep me reassured all is well in the womb. DH put his head on my belly to try to listen to his heart the other night and got a swift kick to the head. That's my boy. :) He asked how I can get any sleep with all that moving going on in there. I'm not really sure. It isn't disruptive to me. I find it soothing. Even the kicks to the ribs and the somewhat jarring kicks to the vagina, which my OB assured me are totally CJ.
I have been having trouble falling asleep but it isn't due to movement. It's the realization that in 3 months, less than 14 weeks, less than 95 days, we will have a newborn in the house. Honestly I feel so completely unprepared. Like I did when we were expecting LD. Like I have no idea how to take care of a newborn. Even though I took care of LD and we all made it through just fine. It feels like that was so, so, so long ago and surely newborns must have changed since then. I've been searching for a diaper bag after realizing the one we used with LD, for the first 6 months when I actually carried it, wouldn't fit the things I should probably be carrying around for a newborn and a toddler. Then I realized I can't even remember what I need to carry around for a newborn. Seriously. I can't remember how to pack a diaper bag for a newborn. I can't remember how to swaddle a newborn. This was all just two years ago and yet I can't remember. I imagine we'll be out and about much more since LD has playdates with his friends and I want to keep him engaged and entertained as much as I try to now. So I think the diaper bag will be essential. Maybe I'm fixated on the diaper bag to help keep my mind off other things that could really freak me out if I think about them. Like how I will be spending the night away from LD when I'm in the hospital with CJ. I've never spent the night away from him. The other night I was imagining that as soon as we are in the recovery room with CJ all swaddled in his bassinet I'm going to lose my crap and want LD there with us. I know the hospital is no place for a two year old, really. My mom will be here and she'll take great care of him, and I'm also insisting that if there's a bedtime involved where I've already had CJ DH must come home and take care of LD. I don't want his life too disrupted. I ordered a diaper bag this morning so I guess it's time to find something else to do to keep my mind busy. Off to research what you're supposed to even put in a diaper bag for a newborn. ;)
Dude, I feel the same way about newborns....like it all happened to someone else, and I have no clue how it was ME, and I KNEW these things at one point in time. I feel completely clueless.
ReplyDeleteWow, I am so very impressed with your lack of weight gain. I won't tell you what I weigh now, but lets just say it's not the 117 I started at :)
I absolutely feel the same way about the newborn stuff. Freaks.Me.Out. I try and remember what to do/pack/prepare and most often just draw a blank!! ;)
ReplyDeleteWe're dealing with the same issues about being in the hospital overnight where PJ is concerned. We've had my mom do a few practice runs with our bedtime routine so that it's not foreign to her or PJ to have someone else do it. Mike is also planning to come home for the evening(s) once W is born to make the transition easier on PJ. Fingers crossed that it works for us...and you, too! :)
I hear you on the being separated from LD situation. We started an ECFE class that includes a portion of parent-child separation and L is having NONE OF IT. It's stressing me out as I am going to need help caring for him (from strangers, we're already tapping out family -- with whom he is fine) as I near the end of this pregnancy and after the twins arrive. And of course I don't want to spend significant amounts of time separated from him AND I'm a pregnant hormonal mess, so it's pretty awesome all around.
ReplyDelete