30 Weeks 3 Days

I had my 30 week appointment today. I'm up 24 pounds total now. I gained 3 pounds in 2 weeks which is a little more than the pound a week I should be gaining. I finally saw my fundal height measurements as my doc was entering them I'm a 27 today, which was a 2cm increase from last appointment. My doc seems pleased. CJ is literally active 23 out of the 24 hours in a day. Yesterday as I hurried down the supermarket aisle to the checkout a lady stopped me to tell me she could see him kicking and flailing in my belly through my shirt. He does cause quite a stir. I love it though!! I can't believe in less than 10 weeks we'll have a newborn again!! I'm so excited, scared, thankful, overwhelmed, entirely not ready!! I am finally pre-registered at the hospitals. I have to send a huge congrats to Jen from Within Reach her gorgeous twins have arrived. Hoping Jen and her twins can go home quickly and settle into their new routine. Seeing those beautiful babes really hit home with me that CJ isn't an abstract. He's a baby and he'll be here soon and I can't wait!!  67 days and counting...

Hello Third Trimester: 28 weeks

Phew I have now entered the third trimester. Things are crazy around here and I'm feeling quite overwhelmed. We've been fighting a cough for the past month. As in LD started it, passed it to me, and now it's finally made its way to Daddy. LD has also just started having some very icky diapers. Of course anxious Mommy is terrified of catching something from him that could hurt CJ so every diaper change I'm gloving up, taking them directly outside, and disinfecting everything within 10 feet of the diaper change area. And washing my hands constantly so they are dry and painful. *sigh* I just want everyone to be healthy, oh and if we could fast forward to December that'd be cool too. :) Not that keeping a newborn healthy would be any less stressful.

Which leads me to my newest situation to figure out how to work out. We do weekly playgroup and I try to do other activities during the week as well to give LD an opportunity to get out and about and hang out with his friends. Adding a newborn to the mix during flu season just doesn't sit well with me. So I am thinking we'll have to take some time off from playgroup. It stinks because I don't want to make LD feel like he's being punished or change things too much for him, but I also want to keep CJ from being exposed to scary germs when he's so little. I'm also starting to wonder how soon before CJ's arrival we should stop going to playgroup as well. He missed his friends so much during the time we stayed away from playgroup because of his cough so I know it will be hard for him when we have to take a break. Luckily we will have company to keep him engaged.

Still haven't chosen a hospital. Gotta get that done.

What a Difference Two Years Four Months Makes

I had my gestational diabetes test on Tuesday. It was exactly two years and four months since I had done the same test for LD's pregnancy. With LD I scored 137 on a scale of 70-140, but since a lot of doctors use a smaller cut-off I insisted on the 3 hour test just to be sure I was ok. I was but my doc did insist on a dietary change. Results this time: a not even registering on the standard range 66. We have shifted our eating habits, especially in the last month of so. We are trying to eat at home nearly every meal, where before we were eating out almost daily if not twice a day. I have no idea if that has any impact on something like gestational diabetes but something is surely different this time. I was anemic with LD and this time I'm not too. I feel healthier and that is huge for me. Last pregnancy I weighed 131 pounds by this point, this pregnancy 124.7. Of course running after a toddler is probably one of the most effective workouts out there. CJ's heart sounded great and I am measuring right on track. He has a regular routine of movements throughout the day that keep me reassured all is well in the womb. DH put his head on my belly to try to listen to his heart the other night and got a swift kick to the head. That's my boy. :) He asked how I can get any sleep with all that moving going on in there. I'm not really sure. It isn't disruptive to me. I find it soothing. Even the kicks to the ribs and the somewhat jarring kicks to the vagina, which my OB assured me are totally CJ.

I have been having trouble falling asleep but it isn't due to movement. It's the realization that in 3 months, less than 14 weeks, less than 95 days, we will have a newborn in the house. Honestly I feel so completely unprepared. Like I did when we were expecting LD. Like I have no idea how to take care of a newborn. Even though I took care of LD and we all made it through just fine. It feels like that was so, so, so long ago and surely newborns must have changed since then. I've been searching for a diaper bag after realizing the one we used with LD, for the first 6 months when I actually carried it, wouldn't fit the things I should probably be carrying around for a newborn and a toddler. Then I realized I can't even remember what I need to carry around for a newborn. Seriously. I can't remember how to pack a diaper bag for a newborn. I can't remember how to swaddle a newborn. This was all just two years ago and yet I can't remember. I imagine we'll be out and about much more since LD has playdates with his friends and I want to keep him engaged and entertained as much as I try to now. So I think the diaper bag will be essential. Maybe I'm fixated on the diaper bag to help keep my mind off other things that could really freak me out if I think about them. Like how I will be spending the night away from LD when I'm in the hospital with CJ. I've never spent the night away from him. The other night I was imagining that as soon as we are in the recovery room with CJ all swaddled in his bassinet I'm going to lose my crap and want LD there with us. I know the hospital is no place for a two year old, really. My mom will be here and she'll take great care of him, and I'm also insisting that if there's a bedtime involved where I've already had CJ DH must come home and take care of LD. I don't want his life too disrupted. I ordered a diaper bag this morning so I guess it's time to find something else to do to keep my mind busy. Off to research what you're supposed to even put in a diaper bag for a newborn. ;)

Double Digits

I never meant to go so long between posts, but if you're following from my other blog you know I've pretty much fallen off the face of the earth over there too. We've reached viability and we're in the double digit countdown to the due date. I'm spending lots of time focused on all the things I'll need to handle two kiddos. Diaper bags, double strollers, comfy place for baby to sleep while toddler tears up the house... I'm partly experienced and partly swimming in uncharted waters. I've done the baby stages before, but the mother-of-two stuff I'm completely unfamiliar with. I told DH that the second baby should be cheaper because we kept so many of the things we used with the first one, especially since they're both boys so we have clothes already. That turned into a big old fat lie rather quickly. I think I've spent as much on CJ as I did on LD by this point. I can't help it that they make baby shopping so much fun, even LD enjoys it and has picked out tons of stuff for his new "brofer". Part of me feels like this pregnancy is creeping by like my pregnancy with LD did, and the other part feels like it's going pretty quickly. I'm so ready to meet CJ and wish I could send time into warp speed to December. But another part of me wants to savor these moments. We know CJ will be our last so the next three(!!!!) months are my last three months to ever be pregnant. I realized tonight we should probably make a decision about the hospital soon. Our choice is between the hospital we chose not to have LD at, which is only 10 minutes away or a hospital 20-30 minutes away that we toured at the beginning of the pregnancy. We liked the farther hospital when we had the tour and we had pretty much made up our minds to birth there. But I've heard the closer hospital has gotten better since we researched it in 2010. All or almost all of the moms in our playgroup delivered there and none had anything negative to say about the hospital so I'm wondering if we should plan to go to the closer hospital. Technically my labor with LD was quick. I was ready to push 6 hours after my water broke on its own. Of course the doctor was unavailable so I had to labor down for a while. Since they say second labors are usually quicker I'm wondering if we'll have time to get to the further hospital. My doctor suggested registering at both hospitals and just seeing how things go when I go into labor. The hospital we delivered LD at is actually halfway between us and the further hospital, so if we had to stop there because it was time to push I guess I'd get my wish to deliver at the same hospital. I agonized over this decision last time so I'm not surprised to find myself unsure of what to do this time. It all worked out fine in the end last time, so I'm hoping it will this time as well. So much to do and now we're in the double digit countdown.

22 Weeks

I had my 22 week appointment today. 22 weeks!! There are more weeks of my pregnancy completed than remaining. Big brother LD came along for moral support, and because he's never had a babysitter what else can I do with him? He was great and kept himself pretty entertained the entire time. My OB just loves him. Every time she sees him she gushes over how he's just the perfect mix of DH and I. Honestly he's much, much cuter than either of us. And I hope CJ is as well. My blood pressure was great. I gained 4 pounds since last visit, so about 13 for the pregnancy so far. My OB thinks I'm on track to gain about the same as I did with LD, about 32 pounds. I'm interested to see if I lose it as quickly as last time now that I'll be 2 years older. I'm just thankful it wasn't more because I've been eating nothing but junk this pregnancy. I'm working to correct that though. CJ is a total mover and shaker who reminds me frequently that he's in there. The 20 week anatomy scan results came back perfect. He measured a little bit ahead, about 2 days. Next visit will be the glucose test. Last time I was borderline, but I'm hoping not to be so close this time. I hope to pass with flying colors. I'm still enjoying my extra energy and hope it at least lasts through our vacation in a few weeks.

Hooray for Halfway

Today is 20 weeks. I can't believe this pregnancy is halfway over. Lots of people say they feel like their pregnancies fly by, but for me they go slowly. Probably because I spend so much time worrying. I had my anatomy scan this morning. Little man is just as active as his big brother and had to be forced to move a few times when he chose not to cooperate. He weighs in at 12 ounces right now. To my untrained eye things looked really good. I get the official results in a few weeks.

The second trimester brought my energy back when it arrived. I was starting to wonder if the fatigue was all in my head and I was making myself feel worse than I truly did, but no that wasn't the case. I was exhausted. Constantly. And useless. Now I've been able to actually accomplish things again and I'm feeling really great. CJ is active much of the day so I have his reassuring taps, punches, and kicks easing my mind. I still can't believe this is happening. It is still surreal. I'm sure it will continue to be surreal until they lay his squirmy body on my chest when he's born. Only 5 months until we meet our new little man. Yipee!!

So In Love

I must admit that as an only child I harbored some serious doubts as to the ability of someone to love their children equally. It's human nature to have favorites isn't it? I mean my only real comparison is my cats. I have two of them. Come over to my house for a few hours and you will clearly know who my favorite is. I love them both, but one does seriously constantly annoy me and the other can do no wrong. So this was my framework for what people with more than one kid must go through. My brother-in-law also tells me often how my husband was clearly the favorite. I was worried about how I could ever love anyone as much as I love LD. He is seriously the light of my life. This week I went back for a follow-up because my calf pain returned and again they wanted to be sure there weren't any visible clots. The tech doing the u/s called herself old school and said she'd been scanning since before I was born, she seemed too young but who am I to argue? She said she was taught to always document a baby when doing any sort of scan. Again who am I to argue? So I got a preview of my level II ultrasound next Monday. And seeing my son in there sucking his thumb and moving around made me realize it is possible to love two people the exact same amount simultaneously. I am totally in love with CJ as much as I am with LD. CJ is quite active and feeling him move and seeing it, both on screen and when watching my belly, fills me with so much joy. As much as hearing LD giggle or watching him dance around the living room. I told myself that if I was ever lucky enough to be pregnant again I'd embrace it. I'd relish it and not let the fear dominate. So here I am 1 week from the halfway point realizing I've let the first half slip away dominated by fear. I'm certainly still scared, but now it's time to embrace this miracle. Time to allow myself to marvel at what is happening and feel the joy I'm being blessed with. And everyday the love I have for both of my sons intensifies to a level I never imagined the heart had room for, but it does...equally.